It feels like the end of the year has come by unannounced, like it snuck up on me, on us.
Do you feel the same?
Reflecting on the year that was, 2022 feels like a stumble in the dark, a lot of trial and error, a lot of hope and a lot of grief.
Following the 2 difficult years of Covid, we wanted desperately to return to normality but something in us has changed that we can't ignore, and we are just beginning to understand what it is.
For me, it's emerging out of some kind of innocence and passiveness, to the realisation that I am responsible for my own well-being, and by extension, I'm also responsible for my own "unwell-being".
How I experience it, and I know others have too, there was (is) a visceral "awakening" from a wounded self to a healed self - a peeling of layers that can feel quite painful to realise.
The good thing about this process is that the destination of this unravelling journey is YOURSELF.
You might not know who 'yourself' is and that's ok.
It might feel scary to even contemplate (as a concept, the Unknown can feel dark, empty and cold), but when you attune to the body, YOUR SELF is always there - not an image or an idea, but a quality, a feeling.
If your whole body isn't available, try just your hands or just your feet - inhabit and attune to the quality of self residing there.
For me, it feels like a relief, like beauty, like coming home.
Before I say goodbye to 2022, this song lyric is playing in my head these days and I wanted to share it with you for inspiration:
Hear your own bones say "Heal yourself, yourself"
Hear your own heart moan
"love yourself, yourself and come home"
(By Sam Beam and Jesca Hoop / Know the Wild that Wants You Link to Listen)
Wishing you a soft, warm and loving end to the year, be gentle and come home.
Photo by Inbar Gold.